OK, new territory for me. I am generally not good at political dialogues, but here you go. Politics and Religion - separate and distinct? Or impossible to separate?
So, I'm religiously inclined, Mormon by birth and practice. I've been following Mitt's campaign with some interest. I've heard many comments about how, no matter his qualifications, or his personal morality, people won't vote for him because he is Mormon. In fact, last week he "reinvented" a JFK speech about religion and politics that sounded quite good from the sound bites I caught on the radio. Romney's message was this - he wasn't taking orders from the LDS Church, he would work for the good of the nation as a whole. Yet, some of the media were upset that he didn't delve into Mormon theology. Why would he? He's not running for president of BYU. He's not bidding for apostleship.
Granted, our faith is often misunderstood, and has some fantastic claims and practices. One columnist I read noted that all faiths do. Politics is not the place to lay out your most private and personal ideas about faith and God for public scrutiny. But is it possible to truly separate religion and politics? If so, is it advisable?
Separately but related - the Golden Compass, and the turmoil surrounding the movie release. This book is the first in a trilogy of books written by a self-described athiest. Per my sister, they were first released in the UK as books for adults. They were then given new child-friendly covers and some new titles, and marketed in the US for kids. My sister has read all three books, I have read the first. I've also received many different e-mails warning me that the reading of this book or the viewing of this movie will ultimately corrupt my children, as it is the author's intent to turn children away from a belief in God.
So, in our very free country, is there true freedom of religion? Do we tend to fall for age old thinking that to protect the tender souls of our children we need to aggressively ban anything dissimilar to our own religious ideology? I vote for religious freedom. I am wary of warnings that seem to come without some balance and discussion. Don't vote for Mitt, he's one of those Mormons. Don't read this book, it will corrupt your children.
I guess it's because I don't like people to tell me what or how to think. That is my job - the job of parent, to filter through all the media (books, movies and games, etc.) to find out what is most appropriate for my children. Likewise, it's my job as a citizen to vote for someone who I think is most capable and qualified. Let me do my job. Let me exercise my freedom.
With regard to Mitt, shouldn't the question be more individualized? What does this particular mormon bring to the table? Does he have the integrity and the ability and the appropriate plan for the future? That's where I'd like to see the discussion move.
As to the books/movie - I find the themes are too dark for my taste. My sister loved the books and plans to see the movie, but considers both to be for adults because of the content. But, she's not afraid that her spirituality will be warped upon viewing the movie. She's open to alternative views of religion and spirituality.
So, if you have more e-mails warning me away from Golden Compass, please don't send them. I'm not interested.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Saturday, December 8, 2007
Christmas thoughts
It's been a bit blue here today. I'm sure the cloudy, rainy weather may have something to do with it, but for Christmas, it's been a little bit less than cheery. It's been an unusually difficult Autumn among our tight-knit military community. I've already written about the broken arm saga, and the break-ins. I think I've even mentioned our friends' daughter with the aggressive brain tumor. I spoke with her on the phone today, and went by to drop off a basket of lighthearted reading for her boys. Played with Sarah, hairless from the chemo, but walking and talking and doing so well in spite of the horrible tricks her own body is playing. The poor baby can't get a break. There are indications the tumor may be metasticizing. Her parents have been told the prognosis is worse than poor. We have other friends going through severe marital problems; a friend who recently miscarried. Granted, much of this trauma isn't even really ours. Tracy and I love each other and our doing well. Our children have seasonal sniffles but are otherwise healthy and strong. But we feel for our friends. Tracy lost two classmates from Ft. Riley last Christmas Day - killed when their vehicle struck an IED. We wondered how their families might be holding up now, faced with the anniversary of their deaths (coming at what is supposed to be such a joyous time). And on a much less serious note - I've been under the weather too, for about a month now. I'm struggling to recouperate and get appropriate treatment.
So, here we are at Christmas, with all the expectations to make THIS Christmas special - the first one we'll celebrate together since Tracy returned from Iraq. And we are so relieved and grateful. He is home with all his limbs, without the mental anguish of PTSD. The children are doing unbelievably well at school and in their activities. We have wonderful friends and family and are so blessed. But this year it seems like trama and tragedy are walking hand in hand with our gratitude. Is this the way it's supposed to be? Is this what happens once you live so long (and we are getting on in years) - that the beloved holidays serve as reminders of people loved and lost, of the trauma of those who struggle with illness and trials?
I really don't know. Of course, the life of our Savior was no picnic either, not even the circumstances surrounding his birth. Who would better understand our frustration at not being able to get the health care we need than a man whose parents were turned away from every Inn? Who would better understand the pain of our friends struggling in their marriages than a man who was betrayed by his own friend. And who could possibly understand the feelings of those who have lost babies, or spouses, or who are watching their child die - than someone who bled from every pore and gave up His own life for those He loved.
Maybe I'm looking at the whole holiday joy thing backwards. Tracy and I are adults now, and maybe it is not for us to return to the untried, naive wonderment that makes up the joy of Christmases past. I love the passage from Isaiah - Chapter 53: "He is despised and rejected of men, a man of sorrows, and aquainted with grief....Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God and afflicted. But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed." Maybe the hope we cling to at Christmas time is the healing power of Him whose birth we celebrate. So, this season, I pray that He who has endured all and suffered all will be with us, to heal us all.
So, here we are at Christmas, with all the expectations to make THIS Christmas special - the first one we'll celebrate together since Tracy returned from Iraq. And we are so relieved and grateful. He is home with all his limbs, without the mental anguish of PTSD. The children are doing unbelievably well at school and in their activities. We have wonderful friends and family and are so blessed. But this year it seems like trama and tragedy are walking hand in hand with our gratitude. Is this the way it's supposed to be? Is this what happens once you live so long (and we are getting on in years) - that the beloved holidays serve as reminders of people loved and lost, of the trauma of those who struggle with illness and trials?
I really don't know. Of course, the life of our Savior was no picnic either, not even the circumstances surrounding his birth. Who would better understand our frustration at not being able to get the health care we need than a man whose parents were turned away from every Inn? Who would better understand the pain of our friends struggling in their marriages than a man who was betrayed by his own friend. And who could possibly understand the feelings of those who have lost babies, or spouses, or who are watching their child die - than someone who bled from every pore and gave up His own life for those He loved.
Maybe I'm looking at the whole holiday joy thing backwards. Tracy and I are adults now, and maybe it is not for us to return to the untried, naive wonderment that makes up the joy of Christmases past. I love the passage from Isaiah - Chapter 53: "He is despised and rejected of men, a man of sorrows, and aquainted with grief....Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God and afflicted. But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed." Maybe the hope we cling to at Christmas time is the healing power of Him whose birth we celebrate. So, this season, I pray that He who has endured all and suffered all will be with us, to heal us all.
Monday, November 12, 2007
Good parenting moments
My oldest child is a bit dramatic. Friday he came home from school totally exhausted and hungry. He quickly became frustrated that his dad was not responding to his continual pleas to take him fishing. "Dad, can we go fishing? Dad, what's your plan for bringing in the big catfish?" Can we get ready and go fishing now?" So, in his tired and hungry state, he started to melt down. "I'm never going to get to go fishing again! Dad will never take me!" etc. If you have kids you may have seen something similar. He wasn't really getting much attention, so he pulled the garbage can out of the corner cupboard in the kitchen and told us since he was so unloved, he was putting himself in with the garbage. He didn't actually try to get in the garbage can (because even the dramatic have their limits, and I'm sure it didn't smell good). He did crawl into the cupboard and shut the door. Normally I would have just let him come out when he was ready. He has ADHD, he doesn't stay anywhere long. But I knew he was hungry and would feel better if he ate something. Anyway, after a few minutes I knocked on the cupboard door and said, "O, prisoner of the darkest dungeon, would'st thou desire a small snack? Alas, all I can offer thee is a mouldy dry crust of bread and stale water, but if thou ist hungry, I will provide thee some food." Pretty good, huh? He knocked three times on the door, which apparently, is knight code for please feed me. I passed him some sugar snap peas (mouldy crust of bread). After a few minutes he came out feeling a bit better. If only I had remembered a cockney accent, it really would have been cool! Anyway, crisis averted.
So, this was a point I wanted to make about deployment (no I am probably never going to leave the deployment topic alone. Sorry). I think it was pretty obvious to me that deployment gives you plenty of opportunities to see your weaknesses as a parent. You are tired, stressed, the kids are stressed, and all they have is you. But deployment sometimes gives you the opportunity to think outside the box - be creative, do things you wouldn't normally do. During baseball season, for example, the boys wanted to get out in the backyard and practice catching and hitting. Normally, I'd turn that responsibility right over to my husband, the high school and college pitcher. Since he wasn't around, I stuck that child sized t-ball glove on my own hand and went out to pitch to the kids. It was great! I have wonderful memories of all my kids (even Emma), and several of the neighbor kids, out hitting the ball and running around our makeshift bases - the big pine trees in the middle of the back yard. The mosqitos were out, sometimes it started to rain, but we played anyway. We kept up the baseball for several weeks. Next we rode bikes in the evening, and even played a few games of dodge ball. I found myself outside more often with the kids than I had been, and I loved it. Now that Tracy is home, he takes the kids out in the evening and I can clean up dinner. I sometimes miss being out and active with them. Those were the good kind of deployment and parenting memories. There are a couple more moments I can think of - usually coming after I'm tired or sick or stressed past capacity. I guess a big parenting challenge that took a lot of effort was starting TJ with piano lessons, and helping him follow through. There were days when I was so angry at him I yelled and threatened to not let him out of his room until his dad came home. But we finally have a routine down, one that works for all of us, and that minimizes complaints from him. He practices in the morning before school, but after his siblings get on the bus. Then I take him to school, giving him a bit of one-on-one time with me (although usually this one on one time includes a lot of "put your shoes on! Where is your back pack? We have to leave now!) He is doing well, and won't admit that he likes being able to play (but I think he does). Ahh! The great parenting moments may be infrequent, but they are sweet.
So, this was a point I wanted to make about deployment (no I am probably never going to leave the deployment topic alone. Sorry). I think it was pretty obvious to me that deployment gives you plenty of opportunities to see your weaknesses as a parent. You are tired, stressed, the kids are stressed, and all they have is you. But deployment sometimes gives you the opportunity to think outside the box - be creative, do things you wouldn't normally do. During baseball season, for example, the boys wanted to get out in the backyard and practice catching and hitting. Normally, I'd turn that responsibility right over to my husband, the high school and college pitcher. Since he wasn't around, I stuck that child sized t-ball glove on my own hand and went out to pitch to the kids. It was great! I have wonderful memories of all my kids (even Emma), and several of the neighbor kids, out hitting the ball and running around our makeshift bases - the big pine trees in the middle of the back yard. The mosqitos were out, sometimes it started to rain, but we played anyway. We kept up the baseball for several weeks. Next we rode bikes in the evening, and even played a few games of dodge ball. I found myself outside more often with the kids than I had been, and I loved it. Now that Tracy is home, he takes the kids out in the evening and I can clean up dinner. I sometimes miss being out and active with them. Those were the good kind of deployment and parenting memories. There are a couple more moments I can think of - usually coming after I'm tired or sick or stressed past capacity. I guess a big parenting challenge that took a lot of effort was starting TJ with piano lessons, and helping him follow through. There were days when I was so angry at him I yelled and threatened to not let him out of his room until his dad came home. But we finally have a routine down, one that works for all of us, and that minimizes complaints from him. He practices in the morning before school, but after his siblings get on the bus. Then I take him to school, giving him a bit of one-on-one time with me (although usually this one on one time includes a lot of "put your shoes on! Where is your back pack? We have to leave now!) He is doing well, and won't admit that he likes being able to play (but I think he does). Ahh! The great parenting moments may be infrequent, but they are sweet.
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Emu in our neighborhood
So, I was unloading groceries a few minutes ago, and had just fished our 24 pack of bottled water out of the back of the cruiser, when I turned around and spotted an emu or maybe an ostrich walking down our street. Seriously. One of those enormous birds, just strolling through our neighborhood, 20 yards away from me, with an MP following slowly along behind it in his police cruiser. It was like a little emu parade, but the emu wasn't waving or throwing candy. I must have spooked it when I said something like "Oh my .*&%" as I backed up to my house for my camera. When I ran out the side door breathless for a picture, the MP was at the other end of the street, out of his car, looking over the sloping lawn and large tree filled space before the airstrip. I loped toward him, hoping for another emu sighting, but he pulled by me, on his way out of the neighborhood. "What????" I guestured to him, and he just shook his head.
I thought this was a quiet neighborhood!
I couldn't resist attempting another sighting, so I ran home, jumped in the truck, and trailed the MPs. They were around the corner, 3 or four of them now, driving deep into the strip of grassland between the highway and the airfield. As they drove out of my sight, I gave up my quest, and headed back to the truck in time to see a pick-up truck with a horse-trailer pulling up to follow the MPs. Good luck! There was even a helicopter in on the action, an Apache, with it's menacing guns, circling overhead. Now that's good use of taxpayer money! Wonder if they will catch it before it reaches the highway? I sure hope so. I'm developing a certain interest in that emu. Hey, I'm hearing some sirens, and the helicopter just circled over my house. Maybe it's back. Excuse me, I may head back outside to look for the emu again. Or ostrich. Whatever. I wonder where it came from? Was there a mass outbreak at a near by zoo? What will I see next? A penguin? A tiger?
On second thought, maybe I'll stay inside!
I thought this was a quiet neighborhood!
I couldn't resist attempting another sighting, so I ran home, jumped in the truck, and trailed the MPs. They were around the corner, 3 or four of them now, driving deep into the strip of grassland between the highway and the airfield. As they drove out of my sight, I gave up my quest, and headed back to the truck in time to see a pick-up truck with a horse-trailer pulling up to follow the MPs. Good luck! There was even a helicopter in on the action, an Apache, with it's menacing guns, circling overhead. Now that's good use of taxpayer money! Wonder if they will catch it before it reaches the highway? I sure hope so. I'm developing a certain interest in that emu. Hey, I'm hearing some sirens, and the helicopter just circled over my house. Maybe it's back. Excuse me, I may head back outside to look for the emu again. Or ostrich. Whatever. I wonder where it came from? Was there a mass outbreak at a near by zoo? What will I see next? A penguin? A tiger?
On second thought, maybe I'll stay inside!
Friday, October 26, 2007
Army Family Covenant
Emma and I attended the "historic"? Army Family Covenant signing. We're sharing a reading moment.
Sunday, October 21, 2007
baby steps toward health
Just a comment about the last post. I don't really feel unsafe, not here in America - even with a bunch of kids roaming the neighborhood breaking into vehicles. This is still America, where I don't have to worry about people shooting at me, or being arrested for no reason. This is not Iraq or Afghanistan. Safety here is not an illusion, not where we live.
OK, but this post I wanted to write a little bit about my goals towards healthy eating for my family. Maybe I should call this post baby steps toward health, or something like it. For me, it's been a slow process. Tracy and I started thinking more about nutrition when we started having kids. I think it's something parents worry about. Are you feeding your kid the right foods so they can grow up healthy and strong? Pretty basic. When we moved to Austin, this was a frequent topic of conversation among us new moms. One of my friends spent a lot of time researching health, eating, and non-traditional healing. I was totally fascinated, and loved asking her about the interesting things she was doing (from a grinding her own flour, to her wonderful garden - hi Brooke!). She inspired me to take a closer look at what I was feeding my family (and what products I used to clean the house, too). Maybe a more natural way would be better?
The more I thought about nutrition, the more it all came down to "you are what you eat" for me. Did I want the bulk of my nutrition to come from bleached white flour, shortening and processed sugar; or did I want to focus on more healthy building blocks and more natural food. Anyway, I have focused on making some gradual changes in my family's diet that I think have been some good baby steps. If you aren't interested, too bad. It's my blog:)
Here's what we have done.
1. Made the switch to whole grains.
Bread is easy, I also look for whole wheat hamburger and hotdog buns, use whole grain side dishes (we switched to brown rice, but I also like the boxed rice and Whole Grain blends from Near East). We even have tried multiple varieties of whole grain pasta. My kids surprisingly, put up with the chewy, nutty texture of whole wheat macaroni better than I do. I prefer Ronzoni Healthy Harvest whole wheat blend pasta (these are great, you can't taste the difference). That's what we do eat. We don't eat a lot of processed baked goods that are another source of bleached enriched white flour. I'll talk more about this later on. I think it's one way to look at maintaining a healthy weight, too.
2. Started eliminating hydrogenated oils, as much as possible. This means reading labels, and occasionally going for organic foods. The only two foods that I haven't found convenient non-hydrogenated substitues for are peanut butter (I hate the mess of having to stir the organic stuff up after the oil separates from the peanuts. But, we do buy the Simply Jiff reduced sugar and sodium variety); and graham crackers. My husband and boys love graham crackers and the organic types I've tried taste like cardboard. I also have a few favorite recipes that call for cool whip. Oh well, we aren't perfect.
3. Started eliminating foods with artificial colors and flavors, MSG, high fructose corn syrup, and gratuitous sugar. With TJ and his ADHD, I've tried to minimize his exposure to these. I don't see much difference in his inattention, but I think a diet that sticks to natural foods helps to keep him more even keel behaviorally. This can be a tough call when it comes to purchasing snack foods. We end up eating a lot of real granola bars (not the chocolate candy coated ones). We like Cascadian Farms organic chewy chocoloate chip and Nature Valley regular old crunchy granola bars. We steer clear from most fruit snacks and fruit rolls, except for FruitaBu - organic fruit roll ups. Those are great. Target also has some organic fruit leather snacks too. Oh, I do buy pudding for the kids - I figure it has milk in it:). The kids and I actually prefer some organic cookies (which are still cookies, still not whole wheat flour, so we go easy on them) Back to Nature (oreos and chocolate chips). Excellent! We even find some popsicles that have natural colors and flavors. For canned soup I purchase Healthy Choice (no MSG). We try to eat lower sugar, whole grain cereals. I tried switching over to totally organic, but the kids rebelled. So we try to do lower sugar, whole grain varieties. They do like Kix & Kashi Autumn Wheat (like shredded wheat, both with no preservatives), and my favorite is Kashi orchard Spice granola. Yum. My kids really like real oatmeal too, if I have the time. I splurge and buy only real maple syrup. I don't think I can ever go back to the fake stuff now! For crackers we buy the Back to Nature wheat thins (which are better than the original, but still with white flour), triscuits, and my new favorites are the All-Bran multi grain crackers.
4. Drink more milk and water, juice sparingly (and the 100% variety, for kids recommended only one serving daily). I have heard so many good things about cranberry juice for women that I try to make it part of my routine (right now my favorite is a cranberry blueberry 100% juice blend). Be careful, most cranberry juice is cranberry cocktail - cranberry juice with lots of high fructose corn syrup. Read the labels. My kids and I don't drink much soda. I don't buy it (except for my husband, who loves his Cokes). Since I am becoming pretty lactose intolerant, we tried some soy milk. The kids and I love Silk Chocolate soy milk. I eat it on my cereal in the morning. The day is usually brighter with a bit of chocolate.
5. Eat plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables. Sometimes I put the veggies out on the table before dinner is ready, when the kids are hungry and want to snack. It works well!
6. Reduce amount of meat, eat more fish, more vegetarian dishes. All of my kids will now (frequently but not all the time) eat Salmon! I'm so excited! Often if I am fixing a dish with meat, I try to use less than the recipe calls for. Or I'll do a stir fry or a stew that has meat, but not a huge serving of it. We even experimented with tofu this summer after trying it at my brother and sister-in-law's home. TJ loves it, but the younger kids aren't so sure. I sliced it and fried it in canola oil, then tossed it in with some boxed asian noodles and veggies. Very yummy.
Anyway, those are our baby steps toward a more healthy diet. We break rules often, but at least we have some shopping parameters and goals! I wish I could say that we have broken our hold on sugar and chocolate, but alas, it is not to be. We are die hard chocolate fans here. We just try for moderation....
Also, Nathan is my pickiest eater - he often isn't interested in the funky healthy foods I make, and would just rather have a hot dog and apple sauce. So, I fix him an Oscar Meyer beef hot dog (fewer artificial colors and flavors), on a whole wheat bun with a good dose of ketchup (hey, it's tomato based!) with unsweetened applesauce, and call it good. You can't win em all.
OK, but this post I wanted to write a little bit about my goals towards healthy eating for my family. Maybe I should call this post baby steps toward health, or something like it. For me, it's been a slow process. Tracy and I started thinking more about nutrition when we started having kids. I think it's something parents worry about. Are you feeding your kid the right foods so they can grow up healthy and strong? Pretty basic. When we moved to Austin, this was a frequent topic of conversation among us new moms. One of my friends spent a lot of time researching health, eating, and non-traditional healing. I was totally fascinated, and loved asking her about the interesting things she was doing (from a grinding her own flour, to her wonderful garden - hi Brooke!). She inspired me to take a closer look at what I was feeding my family (and what products I used to clean the house, too). Maybe a more natural way would be better?
The more I thought about nutrition, the more it all came down to "you are what you eat" for me. Did I want the bulk of my nutrition to come from bleached white flour, shortening and processed sugar; or did I want to focus on more healthy building blocks and more natural food. Anyway, I have focused on making some gradual changes in my family's diet that I think have been some good baby steps. If you aren't interested, too bad. It's my blog:)
Here's what we have done.
1. Made the switch to whole grains.
Bread is easy, I also look for whole wheat hamburger and hotdog buns, use whole grain side dishes (we switched to brown rice, but I also like the boxed rice and Whole Grain blends from Near East). We even have tried multiple varieties of whole grain pasta. My kids surprisingly, put up with the chewy, nutty texture of whole wheat macaroni better than I do. I prefer Ronzoni Healthy Harvest whole wheat blend pasta (these are great, you can't taste the difference). That's what we do eat. We don't eat a lot of processed baked goods that are another source of bleached enriched white flour. I'll talk more about this later on. I think it's one way to look at maintaining a healthy weight, too.
2. Started eliminating hydrogenated oils, as much as possible. This means reading labels, and occasionally going for organic foods. The only two foods that I haven't found convenient non-hydrogenated substitues for are peanut butter (I hate the mess of having to stir the organic stuff up after the oil separates from the peanuts. But, we do buy the Simply Jiff reduced sugar and sodium variety); and graham crackers. My husband and boys love graham crackers and the organic types I've tried taste like cardboard. I also have a few favorite recipes that call for cool whip. Oh well, we aren't perfect.
3. Started eliminating foods with artificial colors and flavors, MSG, high fructose corn syrup, and gratuitous sugar. With TJ and his ADHD, I've tried to minimize his exposure to these. I don't see much difference in his inattention, but I think a diet that sticks to natural foods helps to keep him more even keel behaviorally. This can be a tough call when it comes to purchasing snack foods. We end up eating a lot of real granola bars (not the chocolate candy coated ones). We like Cascadian Farms organic chewy chocoloate chip and Nature Valley regular old crunchy granola bars. We steer clear from most fruit snacks and fruit rolls, except for FruitaBu - organic fruit roll ups. Those are great. Target also has some organic fruit leather snacks too. Oh, I do buy pudding for the kids - I figure it has milk in it:). The kids and I actually prefer some organic cookies (which are still cookies, still not whole wheat flour, so we go easy on them) Back to Nature (oreos and chocolate chips). Excellent! We even find some popsicles that have natural colors and flavors. For canned soup I purchase Healthy Choice (no MSG). We try to eat lower sugar, whole grain cereals. I tried switching over to totally organic, but the kids rebelled. So we try to do lower sugar, whole grain varieties. They do like Kix & Kashi Autumn Wheat (like shredded wheat, both with no preservatives), and my favorite is Kashi orchard Spice granola. Yum. My kids really like real oatmeal too, if I have the time. I splurge and buy only real maple syrup. I don't think I can ever go back to the fake stuff now! For crackers we buy the Back to Nature wheat thins (which are better than the original, but still with white flour), triscuits, and my new favorites are the All-Bran multi grain crackers.
4. Drink more milk and water, juice sparingly (and the 100% variety, for kids recommended only one serving daily). I have heard so many good things about cranberry juice for women that I try to make it part of my routine (right now my favorite is a cranberry blueberry 100% juice blend). Be careful, most cranberry juice is cranberry cocktail - cranberry juice with lots of high fructose corn syrup. Read the labels. My kids and I don't drink much soda. I don't buy it (except for my husband, who loves his Cokes). Since I am becoming pretty lactose intolerant, we tried some soy milk. The kids and I love Silk Chocolate soy milk. I eat it on my cereal in the morning. The day is usually brighter with a bit of chocolate.
5. Eat plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables. Sometimes I put the veggies out on the table before dinner is ready, when the kids are hungry and want to snack. It works well!
6. Reduce amount of meat, eat more fish, more vegetarian dishes. All of my kids will now (frequently but not all the time) eat Salmon! I'm so excited! Often if I am fixing a dish with meat, I try to use less than the recipe calls for. Or I'll do a stir fry or a stew that has meat, but not a huge serving of it. We even experimented with tofu this summer after trying it at my brother and sister-in-law's home. TJ loves it, but the younger kids aren't so sure. I sliced it and fried it in canola oil, then tossed it in with some boxed asian noodles and veggies. Very yummy.
Anyway, those are our baby steps toward a more healthy diet. We break rules often, but at least we have some shopping parameters and goals! I wish I could say that we have broken our hold on sugar and chocolate, but alas, it is not to be. We are die hard chocolate fans here. We just try for moderation....
Also, Nathan is my pickiest eater - he often isn't interested in the funky healthy foods I make, and would just rather have a hot dog and apple sauce. So, I fix him an Oscar Meyer beef hot dog (fewer artificial colors and flavors), on a whole wheat bun with a good dose of ketchup (hey, it's tomato based!) with unsweetened applesauce, and call it good. You can't win em all.
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Illusions of safety
Well, we've had an interesting few weeks. Just as I thought we would survive this deployment with only minor scrapes (and 2 new appliances)......
So it was Monday, the Monday that started the week that Tracy would come home. I was busy making preparations for his homecoming, getting my hair done, organizing the house, etc. The school nurse called me to tell me that Nathan had fallen at school and broken his arm. I was luckily around the corner from the school, at a playdate with Emma and one of her friends. Poor Nathan was in bad shape. He was pale, still, moaning quietly. His arm was obviously broken - a little u shape in his wrist. He started to go into shock when we tried to move him, so we had to transport him to the hospital via ambulance. Oh the timing! It was pretty dramatic. By the time we had finished that day, we found out he had broken 3 bones (radius, ulna, and humerous), one was displaced. The orthopedist put him in a temporary (but hard plaster) cast, with instructions to follow up in two days. We did, still he delayed putting on a new cast (it would have been very painful, fracture was pretty unstable). We were to be seen the following Monday. Since we were going to be in Kansas that day, we were given a referral to take to the hospital there. Yeah, good luck with that. I called to warn them we were coming. "I'm sorry m'am, but you aren't in our system, and we don't have any available appointments." I called the rear detachment there at Fort Riley for help. I called Tricare. I spent at least 2 hours on the phone trying to get something worked out. "M'am, we need Tricare North to fax us an authorization for care, or we can't treat him." "M'am, we need a referral from your primary care provider." "M'am, we need the name and contact information of the treating physician before we can send a referral." I got nothing but run around. In the meantime, I was hysterical by the time Tracy actually was released after his homecoming ceremony (a day later than we had planned, and on the Monday Nathan was supposed to be seen.) After fighting with insurance companies all morning, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry, and did some combination of the both. Anyway by the time we made it back home and had him seen by the doctor here, the fracture had slipped. Poor Nathan waited in the hospital all that day for the breakfast I had fed him to clear his system so the doctor could set the arm surgically (now 2 weeks after the initial break). Later that week, he finally had a permanent cast on the arm. He missed 3 weeks of school.
It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that a kid as healthy as Nathan should not have sustained such a severe injury on his school playground. Nathan drinks milk all the time. He is strong from his gymnastics and soccer, and he is thin. His body can withstand a lot. It couldn't withstand about an 8 foot drop from the monkey bars onto hard dirt. The school nurse told me he was the 3rd kid so far this year to break an arm on those monkey bars. Hello, he was injured in September. Can you say problem? The school teachers and nurse have been great. They love him, they were concerned. But I don't think their playground is safe. You know, it is so hard to see your kids hurting at any time. I think the context of the situation made it worse for me. This didn't have to happen. He didn't have to get hurt. If the playground had been maintained properly, with something to cushion his fall - I'm convinced it wouldn't have been so bad. And, if he had received the treatment he needed at Ft. Riley, maybe he wouldn't have even had to undergo surgery. I have been so angry I've been nearly out of my head! It took about 10 days from the initial injury before Nathan would move that arm away from his body at all. I'm concerned that he also injured his shoulder, although it was never evaluated. All for nothing. In the mean time, our reunion was severely disrupted, as were our vacation plans (hotel with an indoor waterpark). He missed 3 weeks of school, the entire rest of his soccer season, and maybe out of gymnastics semi-permanently (since we are moving after Christmas). His whole life has been disrupted.
So, last week, as we were outside cleaning off the back porch, we noticed that two of our window screens had been adjusted, and both window locks were broken. Someone tried to break into our house. As we checked around, we heard about several cars in the neighborhood that had been burglarized. When we returned today, our Trooper door was open, and there had been several more burglarized cars. Our neighborhood has always been quiet. There are almost never any loud parties, no one speeds through, no MPs called out to break up any family fights. This is one of the most peaceful neighborhoods on post. It's so peaceful here, it's downright idyllic. The large common background area is usually full of kids. The large trees provide shade for even the warmest summer days. We congregate in the backyard - around our patio fireplaces, roasting marshmallows in the evening. This yard, these neighbors - they have been our safe haven and safety net this past year.
I guess it's no wonder I've had some trouble sleeping, and even a nightmare or two. As a parent, I work so hard to keep my kids safe, to minimize risk. With all my work and vigilance, Nathan was still was hurt. And for all the safety that I feel here, in our neighborhood, surrounded by our friends, My family is still vulnerable.
So, today I also heard the news that a friend's daughter was diagnosed this week with a severe, inoperable brain tumor. I can't imagine hearing much worse news than this. Compared to this, a broken but healing arm is hardly worth mentioning (though i managed several paragraphs). Compared to this, what's the loss of a stereo? Talk about a good dose of perspective.
I do want to comment about the whole safety issue, because the ideas have been related to the deployment as well. Here are my observations.
1. Our physical safety is probably an illusion. Who can predict what might happen to us, or to someone we love, or when? I do actually believe that living good clean lives and praying a lot do help keep us safe. Though I think God may have some plans for us that we aren't aware of. And afterall, we are mortal.
2. Threats to our safety and stability (these stressors that make us want to dig in, secure the neighborhood, keep our kids within arm's length) are real. They have real impact on children and adults. My boys, who should be sleeping soundly, are suddenly worried and afraid to go to sleep. I understood this when dad was deployed, but now that he is home, they should be better. They aren't. I should be able to talk to my friends without endlessly rehashing all the trauma. I should be glad to send Nathan back to school, not paranoid I'll get another call from the nurse. I'm not there yet. Deployment was basically an exercise in dealing with constant threats to our family's safety and stability. If I didn't hear from Tracy for a day or two, I started panicking. When he deployed to Baghdad, that was a good 3-4 months of additional stress. And we had it easy. We have friends who haven't been so lucky, whose husbands are deployed in dangerous parts of the middle east, constantly in harm's way. How they function daily is astounding to me. As I've been talking with some of the local school staff, one complaint from teachers and principals has been a handful of families who have trouble sending their kids to school. The parent is deployed, and the non-deployed parent is so stressed and worried they do not regularly keep the kids in school. After this past month, I am starting to understand this kind of thinking better. Sometimes you are so worried and feel so unsafe you go into crisis mode. You keep everyone at home where you know nothing bad will happen to them. Is that the correct response? The school doesn't think so. I'm sure the routine of school is the best place for kids, but I can sure empathize with the parent.
So now I'm going to go start of some socks for my friend's baby, and plan the meal I'm taking to them next week. I'll do yoga and deep breathing. I'll send my kids to school praying they will return safe and sound. I'll have faith that they will be protected, even though I know God may have other plans for them. And I'll hug and kiss them a bit more often. Who would blame me?
So it was Monday, the Monday that started the week that Tracy would come home. I was busy making preparations for his homecoming, getting my hair done, organizing the house, etc. The school nurse called me to tell me that Nathan had fallen at school and broken his arm. I was luckily around the corner from the school, at a playdate with Emma and one of her friends. Poor Nathan was in bad shape. He was pale, still, moaning quietly. His arm was obviously broken - a little u shape in his wrist. He started to go into shock when we tried to move him, so we had to transport him to the hospital via ambulance. Oh the timing! It was pretty dramatic. By the time we had finished that day, we found out he had broken 3 bones (radius, ulna, and humerous), one was displaced. The orthopedist put him in a temporary (but hard plaster) cast, with instructions to follow up in two days. We did, still he delayed putting on a new cast (it would have been very painful, fracture was pretty unstable). We were to be seen the following Monday. Since we were going to be in Kansas that day, we were given a referral to take to the hospital there. Yeah, good luck with that. I called to warn them we were coming. "I'm sorry m'am, but you aren't in our system, and we don't have any available appointments." I called the rear detachment there at Fort Riley for help. I called Tricare. I spent at least 2 hours on the phone trying to get something worked out. "M'am, we need Tricare North to fax us an authorization for care, or we can't treat him." "M'am, we need a referral from your primary care provider." "M'am, we need the name and contact information of the treating physician before we can send a referral." I got nothing but run around. In the meantime, I was hysterical by the time Tracy actually was released after his homecoming ceremony (a day later than we had planned, and on the Monday Nathan was supposed to be seen.) After fighting with insurance companies all morning, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry, and did some combination of the both. Anyway by the time we made it back home and had him seen by the doctor here, the fracture had slipped. Poor Nathan waited in the hospital all that day for the breakfast I had fed him to clear his system so the doctor could set the arm surgically (now 2 weeks after the initial break). Later that week, he finally had a permanent cast on the arm. He missed 3 weeks of school.
It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that a kid as healthy as Nathan should not have sustained such a severe injury on his school playground. Nathan drinks milk all the time. He is strong from his gymnastics and soccer, and he is thin. His body can withstand a lot. It couldn't withstand about an 8 foot drop from the monkey bars onto hard dirt. The school nurse told me he was the 3rd kid so far this year to break an arm on those monkey bars. Hello, he was injured in September. Can you say problem? The school teachers and nurse have been great. They love him, they were concerned. But I don't think their playground is safe. You know, it is so hard to see your kids hurting at any time. I think the context of the situation made it worse for me. This didn't have to happen. He didn't have to get hurt. If the playground had been maintained properly, with something to cushion his fall - I'm convinced it wouldn't have been so bad. And, if he had received the treatment he needed at Ft. Riley, maybe he wouldn't have even had to undergo surgery. I have been so angry I've been nearly out of my head! It took about 10 days from the initial injury before Nathan would move that arm away from his body at all. I'm concerned that he also injured his shoulder, although it was never evaluated. All for nothing. In the mean time, our reunion was severely disrupted, as were our vacation plans (hotel with an indoor waterpark). He missed 3 weeks of school, the entire rest of his soccer season, and maybe out of gymnastics semi-permanently (since we are moving after Christmas). His whole life has been disrupted.
So, last week, as we were outside cleaning off the back porch, we noticed that two of our window screens had been adjusted, and both window locks were broken. Someone tried to break into our house. As we checked around, we heard about several cars in the neighborhood that had been burglarized. When we returned today, our Trooper door was open, and there had been several more burglarized cars. Our neighborhood has always been quiet. There are almost never any loud parties, no one speeds through, no MPs called out to break up any family fights. This is one of the most peaceful neighborhoods on post. It's so peaceful here, it's downright idyllic. The large common background area is usually full of kids. The large trees provide shade for even the warmest summer days. We congregate in the backyard - around our patio fireplaces, roasting marshmallows in the evening. This yard, these neighbors - they have been our safe haven and safety net this past year.
I guess it's no wonder I've had some trouble sleeping, and even a nightmare or two. As a parent, I work so hard to keep my kids safe, to minimize risk. With all my work and vigilance, Nathan was still was hurt. And for all the safety that I feel here, in our neighborhood, surrounded by our friends, My family is still vulnerable.
So, today I also heard the news that a friend's daughter was diagnosed this week with a severe, inoperable brain tumor. I can't imagine hearing much worse news than this. Compared to this, a broken but healing arm is hardly worth mentioning (though i managed several paragraphs). Compared to this, what's the loss of a stereo? Talk about a good dose of perspective.
I do want to comment about the whole safety issue, because the ideas have been related to the deployment as well. Here are my observations.
1. Our physical safety is probably an illusion. Who can predict what might happen to us, or to someone we love, or when? I do actually believe that living good clean lives and praying a lot do help keep us safe. Though I think God may have some plans for us that we aren't aware of. And afterall, we are mortal.
2. Threats to our safety and stability (these stressors that make us want to dig in, secure the neighborhood, keep our kids within arm's length) are real. They have real impact on children and adults. My boys, who should be sleeping soundly, are suddenly worried and afraid to go to sleep. I understood this when dad was deployed, but now that he is home, they should be better. They aren't. I should be able to talk to my friends without endlessly rehashing all the trauma. I should be glad to send Nathan back to school, not paranoid I'll get another call from the nurse. I'm not there yet. Deployment was basically an exercise in dealing with constant threats to our family's safety and stability. If I didn't hear from Tracy for a day or two, I started panicking. When he deployed to Baghdad, that was a good 3-4 months of additional stress. And we had it easy. We have friends who haven't been so lucky, whose husbands are deployed in dangerous parts of the middle east, constantly in harm's way. How they function daily is astounding to me. As I've been talking with some of the local school staff, one complaint from teachers and principals has been a handful of families who have trouble sending their kids to school. The parent is deployed, and the non-deployed parent is so stressed and worried they do not regularly keep the kids in school. After this past month, I am starting to understand this kind of thinking better. Sometimes you are so worried and feel so unsafe you go into crisis mode. You keep everyone at home where you know nothing bad will happen to them. Is that the correct response? The school doesn't think so. I'm sure the routine of school is the best place for kids, but I can sure empathize with the parent.
So now I'm going to go start of some socks for my friend's baby, and plan the meal I'm taking to them next week. I'll do yoga and deep breathing. I'll send my kids to school praying they will return safe and sound. I'll have faith that they will be protected, even though I know God may have other plans for them. And I'll hug and kiss them a bit more often. Who would blame me?
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